Dating
12 first date questions that don’t feel like an interview
JB
Jonas Berg
· 5 min read
Questions that give your date room to tell a story, not just list facts.
Ask for stories
“What do you do?” gets a job title. “What were you obsessed with as a kid?” gets a story. Stories are easier to respond to and tell you more.
Easy openers
- 1What’s your go-to order when you want to treat yourself?
- 2What hobby would you pick up if nobody judged you?
- 3What were you obsessed with as a kid?
- 4What’s the best gig or show you’ve ever been to?
Once you’re both relaxed
- 5What instantly makes you like a person?
- 6What does a perfect Sunday look like for you?
- 7What’s a risk you took that you’re glad about?
- 8What are you excited about right now?
If it’s going well
- 9What do people often get wrong about you at first?
- 10What does feeling at home mean to you?
- 11What’s something you’re working on in yourself?
- 12What’s a place that changed how you see things?
Play these as cards
The Date deck deals one question at a time and adapts to your answers.
FAQ
How many questions should I ask on a first date?
There’s no number. Ask one, listen, and follow up on what they say before moving on.
Are deep questions too much for a first date?
Save them for when the conversation is already easy. If you have to force it, stay light.